In Times Like These, Should Single People Look for a Spouse? Maybe, or Maybe Not.

Minister Paul J Bern
7 min readMay 27, 2020

What About Marriage? Should I Look For a Spouse?

(1st Corinthians chapter 7, verses 1–9)

Today as I continue to dissect the first book of Corinthians, but with words instead of sharp objects, I will begin chapter 7, which is quite probably the finest behavioral commentary about relations between the sexes in existence (with the possible exception of Ephesians chapters 5 and 6, which I will cover later). Since this is a lengthy chapter with a lot of timely commentary and Christian guidance, I will be breaking this up into three parts. I ask the Lord’s guidance regarding this, and I’m confident that He will lead me in the way I should present this sacred and beautiful document. Let’s begin with chapter 7 and verse 1.

“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to marry’. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I will say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” (1st Corinthians 7; verses 1–7)

Paul’s opening statement reflects a fact that I had to learn the hard way; marriage isn’t for everybody. Having remained single since 1990, after the disintegration of my second marriage (my 2 marriages lasted for just under 3 years combined), I can tell you without hesitation that I much prefer the single life even though I love kids. The fact that it costs about a quarter of a million dollars to raise a child up until their 18th birthday (not counting college or university) in today’s terms pretty much scares me away from raising kids. (That, and I’m in my sixties). But there is much more to this than simple advice for the lovesick. The apostle…

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Minister Paul J Bern

Rev. Paul J. Bern is a Web pastor and blogger on The Social Gospel Blog on Medium and Substack. Longtime Atlanta Ga. resident; stroke survivor; piano player